child development | PulseonParenting

New Zealand Kids Don’t Graduate. Here’s What They Do Instead.

Feb 16 2023

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. The quality, the vibe, that makes New Zealand different from the U.S. Then, on a car ride along the vibrant Tasman coast, my mother-in-law hit it on the head. Life is simpler. Not as a euphemism for backward, far from it. Simpler as in less burdensome, less effort to keep up with the Joneses. Things just are. In an authentic, take-it-or-leave-it manner. I wrote last week about my boys’ Last First Day of school. In less than a year, their senior year (or as it is called in New Zealand, Year 13)…

Our view from quarantine in Auckland, New Zealand

Jul 28 2022

So. It’s been awhile. Not for lack of inspirational writing material (there’s been plenty), or because our family has had COVID (we’ve had it, but it was mild, thankfully), or because my site crashed (it hasn’t). Full disclosure, I haven’t posted because of my addiction to double-spacing after end punctuation, which I hear is way passe because we no longer use typewriters. But I simply cannot commit myself to unlearning the only thing I could do consistently well in my high school typing class. Oh, and because my family recently moved to New Zealand. One of these “excuses” is actually…

Apr 19 2016

Wet sand flung at our stucco. Mud tracked through our play room. A soccer ball (intentionallly) pulverizing my son’s lego creations. And an unmistakable defiance for the adult in charge. So how do you tell parents their kid is a brat?

Mar 30 2016

Creativity: putting things together in novel ways, or seeing the world, or a given problem, with fresh eyes. (ahaparenting.com) “Oh, my, he’s such a mess!!” Grandma could barely get the words out through her laughter. Her loving observation of my older son at age three was spot on. There he was, sitting at our kitchen table working on crafts: stuff was piled everywhere, stuck together randomly with glue from a dripping bottle. His clothes were streaked with food (oddly, even now, breakfast is on his person before he’s even had any), his face mustachioed with lunch. The perfect picture of a…

Jan 12 2016

I have never made it a secret that my twin boys are the product of science…I’ve “put it out there” since my husband and I shared the good news that we were finally expecting. And we’ve talked to our boys about their beginning, showing them pictures and telling them about the special doctor who helped us become pregnant with them. We found a wonderful age-appropriate book to read to all three of our kids (our daughter, conceived the “old-fashioned way” finds it especially interesting), back when they were in Kindergarten. Since then, I’ve looked for a book that is directed…

Sep 29 2015

I was in second grade when my grandfather died unexpectedly. It was a horribly difficult time made even harder by the fact that he died a day after my family returned from the funeral of another family member. As a child I recall feeling confused, sad and so scared I couldn’t even go into the living room to see my grieving grandmother. The death of a loved one is difficult to explain to children, especially as we adults are trying to process our own loss, sadness and grief. Funerals are emotional and perplexing. I didn’t go to my grandfather’s. Because…

Sep 22 2015

There is a well-known story about Olympic champion Gabrielle Douglas and the turning point in her gymnastics career. She was living with a host family in Iowa so she could work with Liang Chow, the coach who trained Shawn Johnson. But being terribly homesick for her family and life in Virginia, she told her mother she wanted to quit gymnastics. Upon hearing this Gabby’s mom read her the riot act and, as we all know, the rest is history. I began learning the trumpet at age nine. Shortly thereafter I got braces and could hardly play a note. My instructor…

Sep 16 2015

I don’t remember what I made, but I do remember the process. Or at least, I remember what I disliked about it. The measuring, the tailor’s tacks, the ironing of narrow seams. In short, my mom tried to teach me how to sew and I really, really, didn’t want to learn. I was the teenage daughter of an exquisite seamstress: she made her own wedding dress. She helped sew bridesmaid’s dresses for her sister. She painstakingly pieced together, with her two equally talented sisters, a quilt for their parents. My mom grew up sewing. And thought I should, too.

Physical or a Feeling. What is Truly a Home?

Aug 06 2015

Your house is small and dirty. (So there.) That statement was the trump card another child played in his argument with my oldest son (apparently over legos). The six-year-old couldn’t have understood the “grown up” interpretation of his words, the comparisons made by adults in attempt to “win” in the material world and therefore life itself. But neither could my 10-year-old son comprehend such craziness. He was, not surprisingly, hurt by the critique. Small and dirty implied his world was inadequate, that the place his father and mother provided for him was, well, small and dirty. When my son told me…

Jun 24 2015

When my husband told me that video games are good for hand-eye coordination (and therefore improving his career skills), I figured he was just vying for a Wii (or was it an Xbox? I’m pretty clueless on the difference). I didn’t buy it, literally or figuratively. Because I still can’t tie a sailor’s knot despite my hours of playing Pong and Pac Man back in-the-day. And yet, yet, despite that skepticism on the positive value of playing video games, I allow my kids to have daily access to their iPods. Is there guilt? Yes. Do I allow them more time than I…

My name is Heidi Black and I have it all... Maybe not in the traditional sense of the phrase but I do feel I have it all: three beautiful, healthy children, a devoted husband and father and the privilege of being a Domestic Engineer. (I used to call myself a SAHM but that just doesn’t fit when my day is filled with coordinating 5 schedules and preplanning their execution, all up to a week in advance.) And now, indulging in a not-so-secret desire to write, and following the advice “write what you know” I am ready to share what I have learned from this ironic life journey and along with you, discover answers to those many questions related to parenting.

Tag - child development

New Zealand Kids Don’t Graduate. Here’s What They Do Instead.

Rally Your Parenting Village, Now.

Someone Else’s Bratty Kid

Nurturing Creativity in Our Children: More Mess, More Time

Calling All Family and Friends of In Vitro Fertilization Kids

When a Loved One Dies: How We Can Help Our Kids

Should I Let My Child Quit?

Kids Do Listen, Sometimes Years Later

Physical or a Feeling. What is Truly a Home?

Video Games, the Priming Effect, and Kids