How to Know When You’ve Found Your “Thing.”

What’s your passion?

Let’s find your passion!

I’m passionate about…

Plenty of well-meaning people use the word passion to describe that “thing” that makes them come alive. But I hear passion and my stomach clenches like I’ve heard nails on a chalkboard. Passion was a trigger word frequently used in the multi-level marketing business (MLM) I was briefly an “independent contractor” for. The idea of finding their passion as a part of the MLM drew people in, enticing them with community, a white Mercedes and a fabulous high-heeled lifestyle. Passion manipulated people and kept them cogs in a money train whose final stop was with a few at the tippy top of the company.

So I don’t like the word passion.

But I do like what came of that confused time in my life when I thought I could succeed in an MLM. I learned what my passion was not. And then I found what it is. Here’s how to know when you’ve found your “thing.”

But first…

Your thing is not what someone else tells you it should be.

That seems pretty obvious. But we humans are social creatures. We desire connection, friendship and common ground. For those three reasons, we may easily find ourselves following the crowd, swept up into a sheltered circle of acceptance that has its boundaries. That’s where I found myself within the MLM. We talked a lot about finding our passions…but individuality wasn’t rewarded. Because in an MLM, there’s a script to be followed, a code to adhere to (that of the MLM). The unspoken message is: passions have parameters. So I left.

If you aren’t wild for what helps you belong, it’s not for you. It takes courage, but you owe it to yourself to move on.

Your priorities do not always lead you to your “thing.”

Let me explain using a real-life example. Again, it’s related to my MLM experience.

I signed up as a consultant with an MLM because I had a lot in common with my upline. We went to the same university (where we first met). We love and value travel, fitness and healthy living. And the MLM seemed to prioritize these things as well. My values appeared to align with the company’s mission. So why didn’t it work out? I didn’t like cold-calling long-lost friends to ask them to buy vegan (and expensive!) protein powder. I couldn’t wait to be done with my 10 daily reach-outs and breathed a sigh of relief when voicemail rather than a real voice answered the phone.

Plus, salespeople make me uncomfortable…so why in the world would I become one?

And I don’t think the term “boss babe” is a particularly progressive label.

In short, living my values was stunted by a process that just wasn’t for me.

If it stifles your values and priorities, it’s not your thing.

So how do I find my “thing?”

It takes trial and error. Some of us find straight away that wonderful pursuit that puts us into “flow” mode. Most of us aren’t so lucky. When I was that MLM consultant, I gave myself a year, a good amount of time to see what I could make of it. But it never “flowed” for me.

It takes patience, searching for your thing, but keep looking.

You’ll know it when you feel it.

When you find that perfect fit, time will melt away. You’ll be so immersed the work comes naturally, and easily. You may miss a meal because you can’t stop creating, building and producing. You will welcome challenges, even seek them out. There will be a thirst to learn more.

And it will make your values and priorities come alive.

This is flow. Your thing will trigger it. Over and over again.

Learn more about Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of flow here. (and also how to pronounce his name…)

It may have been there all along.

It was during COVID that I discovered my “thing.” When the sphere of life shrunk to the size of my home, my thing was right there, front and center.

As yoga studios shuttered to in-person classes, I turned to an online subscription for my regular vinyasa fix. One day an email popped up, advertising a tuition discount for the site’s 200-hour yoga instructor course.

In an unprecedented and unexpected move, yoga hit someone over the head. Like a ton of bricks.

At that point, yoga had been part of my life for a decade. Once in a blue moon over that ten years, a teeny, tiny voice whispered, “Hey, what about becoming a yoga teacher?” But all of a sudden, with the noise of a busy life muted by a pandemic, I finally heard that little voice loud and clear.

Practicing yoga had long made a difference in my life, but now it has changed it.

I could even say yoga saved my life (more on that in a later post).

My Thing

My flow is literally wrapped up in yoga flow. I’ve become a certified instructor. And no sooner did I complete 200 hours of learning than I signed up for another 300. One night I awoke ruminating over something I don’t recall, so I turned to mentally plan my next yoga class.

Then I fell asleep.

Not because I was bored.

But because my mind had settled into something that I love, each class a puzzle and challenge to choreograph with an overall purpose and theme.

Yoga fits my values like a glove, blending a personal desire for a healthy mind and body and a motivation for helping others do the same. It brings together a community of like-minded, generous people. I find myself contemplating new ways to bring yoga to my community and to make moving through asana more interesting and creative.

What’s more: I feel not one iota of self-consciousness or shame about sharing what I’ve got to offer.

Unlike peddling vegan mascara and energy bars.

The takeaway.

It feels daunting, to seek out your “thing.” So make this your first step: Search those pursuits that have been with you for a long time…years, even. Consider the following:

What are your hobbies?

What are you already doing that makes you feel alive?

What are you curious about?

Answer the following: Something I wish I did when I was younger is________. I’ve always wanted to________.

Start with the above. Don’t be afraid to try, and don’t be afraid to try and fail. It’s all part of the discovery.

In other words:

That thing you suck at may just be your “thing.”