Turning 18 in New Zealand: the Partying Turns Real

Mar 02 2023

This week my twin boys turn 18. The good news: they get to register to vote in U.S. elections. The bad news: they have to sign up for the U.S. draft. And the interesting news: they can legally buy alcohol. In other words, turning 18 in New Zealand means the partying turns real.

Turning 18 in New Zealand: the Partying Turns Real. Booze and birthday cake. — Booze and birthday cake, age 18.

My generation of Americans and younger may find this to be crazy or cool, or somewhere in between. The minimum legal drinking age (MLDA) in the U.S. has teeter-tottered in the last 100 years: in the early part of the 20th century, it was 21. Then it was 18 in many states in the ’60s and ’70s, before the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 raised the age back to an air-tight, nationwide 21. And in doing so, the U.S. is among a select few nations with an MLDA this high.

In spite of my Yankee culture, let me be clear: I’m not going to judge drinking laws in New Zealand.

Instead, I’m going to muse. And share what I’ve observed. I haven’t figured out a way to ask people I know here in New Zealand about drinking habits and culture and don’t want to offend. Even though I am prone to big opinions, I know enough not to pee in someone else’s yard, literally or metaphorically.

Although I am known for peeing in my own. Metaphorically. NOT literally.

Anyway…

The New Zealand Law

The Sale and Supply of Alcohol Act 2012 is a New Zealand law that addresses the supplying of alcohol to “under 18’s” and related issues such as alcohol licenses, promotion and sales. The Q&A intended to clarify this law is thorough and honestly quite entertaining. Someone in step with the lawyerly tendencies of teenagers must have written the “Q” portion, or perhaps the questions came directly from the horse’s mouth. Whichever is the case, all angles of sale and supply of booze to the under-age set have been questioned and answered. With pretty much the same response every time:

Only parents or guardians can ok the responsible supply of alcohol to their under-18 children. If you are not that parent, you have to ask the parent if you can buy for/give their kiddos alcohol. This is called express consent.

So if my kid’s buddy wanted to buy alcohol and give it to my son, he’d have to ask my OK to do so.

Right.

I wasn’t born yesterday. As my teens love to remind me.

The obvious 18th bday gift in New Zealand. We all had a bit to celebrate.

Generally speaking, kids don’t have to drink behind closed doors.

So with consideration to the 2012 law keggers, or “tea parties” as is the local vernacular, don’t necessarily have to be planned on the sly. If some kids are 18 and get that express consent (wink-wink) they can give provide alcohol, responsibly, to their younger friends. It’s not illegal. Yes, the law mentions responsible supply of said alcohol numerous times; however, it doesn’t define exactly what that means. Responsible enjoys a lot of wiggle room, especially when it comes to teenagers. Even with truly responsible intentions someone can get burned in the bonfire.

Not unlike anywhere else in the world.

Also: I could take my five-year-old (if I had one…that is) into a bar or restaurant and buy him a beer. There is no minimum legal drinking age in New Zealand; however, the NZ Health Promotion Agency recommends that kids 18 and under not consume alcohol. Of course, to most Americans that just seems crazy. The buy-your-kindergartener-a-beer part, not the kids-shouldn’t-imbibe-part. But it is what it is. And for the record, I’ve not seen a five-year-old belly up to a bar yet.

In New Zealand, that is.

A collective shockwave felt all the way back to the gulf shores.

Here’s something we witnessed with friends several years ago. In a beach bar on the British Virgin Islands, a collective American gasp nearly sucked the sunshade to the ground as a really young Brit knocked back a shot of rum intended for his dad. A Yank even went so far as to give him a scolding. But it’s perfectly legal in the U.K. for a youngster to have a nip at home (although this was far from home) with his family present. Even if some of us knew that, Americans do love a righteous pearl-clutching.

And despite the common knowledge that a rite of passage in the U.S. involves an underage kegger in the field behind someone’s house.

The United States has some of the strictest drinking laws in the world. In the end, however, it’s how we (wherever we happen to live) approach the culture of drinking that helps shape our kids’ outlook on it. If kids see parents drinking responsibly and within the law, we’ve armed them with a good example. That doesn’t mean they won’t experiment. But kids do hear us, even though it doesn’t seem like they are listening.

So as my boys turn “legal” this week, I hope we’ve equipped them with responsible (there’s that word, again…) intentions on alcohol consumption.

Strategies our family uses in conversations about drinking alcohol

Being honest. My husband and I share with our kids our personal experiences with alcohol. Even, and especially, the bad ones and the consequences we felt as a result.
Giving our kids an “out.” Of course, there is peer pressure to drink. The short script we give our kids if they don’t want to join in is very simple. Say, “No thanks, I don’t like the taste of the stuff.” Or, as my father-in-law, a retired state patrolman suggested saying, “I’m allergic.”
Setting a responsible example. Not over-imbibing. Enjoying our drink with food and making it last over a longer period of time.
Talking at regular, short intervals about responsible alcohol consumption.
Keeping it real. We can’t tell them to never go to parties, because they will. More than once. Instead, we give them advice on how to handle themselves: never accept an opened container or anything served in a plastic cup. Open your own beverage, whether it be alcoholic or soft, always open your own. And never accept a ride from someone who’s drinking too much. Call a taxi. Or one of us. No judgment.