Eight Simple, Effective Ways to Practice Adaptation
Change isn’t easy. Especially when it is isn’t our choice, and even when it is. But the ability to adapt to change is a necessity it order to survive or simply to thrive.
From an evolutionary standpoint, adaptation is
the biological mechanism by which organisms adjust to new environments or to changes in their current environment.
There are two ways that living beings adapt–biologically and behaviorally. In this post, I’m going to focus on behavioral adaptation. We are in the middle of a world-wide out-of-control experiment with a novel virus. Behavior is at the epicenter of the crisis. Current advice tells us to socially distance and wear masks in public spaces. Doing so should help us reverse the curve (Because who are we kidding? Flattening the curve is only a decent start, not the endpoint) and lead us to halting the unchecked spread of this morbid virus. Distancing and wearing masks is considered the behavioral adaptation needed to prevent more illness, death and mental and economic devastation.
You don’t have to go very far into a social media feed to find the people who struggle with this particular form of behavioral adaptation. Let’s face it, though, even those of us who comply with this best medical advice to date on COVID aren’t ecstatic about it. Adaptation to shifting circumstances takes energy, both mental and physical, and our ability or inability to do so during a pandemic, can mean the difference between financial stability and ruin, life or death. And the less able we are to adapt, the worse off we are.
No doubt about it: change is scary, even if it is for the better. And why is it so hard? Any change that challenges us to adapt, whether it be a change in health, surroundings or habits, threatens our safety and security. We feel comfortable where we are, and any blip, big or small, that pokes at that stability feels threatening. Our cozy little bubbles lead us to believe we couldn’t change if we wanted to.
But we can. We can learn to adapt and also help our children do the same. This is a skill ever more important as we cope with a pandemic that shifts and moves and as our society attempts to move ahead in these unpredictable times. Here are some helpful ways to pave the way toward adaptation.
- Expect and accept the “constant of change.” Once we understand that change is the rule rather than exception, we are poised to accept it. Embrace holocaust survivor Victor Frankl’s “tragic optimism”: focus on the possibilities change presents instead of the limitations it imposes. Relegate “the good old days” to reminiscence, and explore the idea of “the good new days.”
- Stick to your values and remember this isn’t personal. Our identities don’t suffer in change, they blossom. We learn more about who we are when we are challenged by change. Run with it. Journal about it, explore those personal values.
- Assume the best. Sometimes this bit of advice is followed by expect the worst. That’s not wrong, because preparing for the worst is a survival mechanism…like keeping a couple weeks of food and toilet paper (but not 10 years-worth) stashed in the basement. However, assuming the best keeps us open to adapt. Think: This may work… or I’ll give it a chance. or How can I help? to improve an adaptive mindset. In other words be constructive, not destructive. Negativity, anger and blame breed negativity, anger and blame. Looking to work a problem keeps the process moving forward toward solutions.
- Find the real info. (aka, peruse reputable sources. Seek the advice of experts. Avoid sources with a political agenda and an ax to grind (conspiracy theorists, for example). The way forward to successful adaptation is to be well-informed and well-armed with good information.
- Find the humor and spread it:
How can we help our kids adapt?
First, we must be willing to adapt ourselves. Kids are influenced more by our actions than our words, so consistency between the two is key. When we adults practice the skills that make us better at adapting to change, we are preparing ourselves to help our kids learn those skills, too.
Kids of all ages need help adapting, even teenagers. Especially teenagers during this time of social distancing when they can’t have frequent in-person interactions with their peers. Here are some tips for making a rough transition as smooth as possible:
- Parental patience. Not an easy virtue to extoll when we are stretched thin financially, stressed-out about our children’s education, and concerned about our families’ health and well-being. But understanding that our kids feel their own stress (on top of ours) makes patience a necessity. Approach changes in routine and schedule gradually and with empathy and prepare kids ahead of time. Be sure to talk reassuringly about what will stay the same.
- Routine. Keep things as stable as possible around the changes. For example, keep meal time, bedtime and family activities a priority. If Friday night is family movie night, keep it going. If Taco Tuesday is a tradition, keep it. Little things do matter.
- Expect regression…really, it’s normal. Even teens can revert to the self-soothing rituals from years past. Kids may return to thumb-sucking and bed-wetting during times of stress and change, adding to the difficulty of adjustment. Reassure children (and yourself) that what is happening is not at all unusual, is usually temporary, and that you’ll support your child through this tough time.
Learning to adapt isn’t easy for anyone, but it is harder for some. Please share this post to anyone you feel needs some extra help in these trying times.
“If you adapt to a new situation or adapt yourself to it, you change your ideas or behavior in order to deal with it successfully. The world will be different, and we will have to be prepared to adapt to the change.” ~collinsdictionary.com
Sources/Links:
https://hbr.org/2016/09/how-to-get-better-at-dealing-with-change
liquidplanner.com/blog/
https://www.primroseschools.com/blog/tips-for-helping-your-child-adapt-to-change/
