Change is in the Air: Breathe it Deeply

This morning I woke up, wondering what to write about today. Should I ignore the elephant lurking in every corner of every room? That gray, wrinkled stalker that even follows us outside and causes us to jump to the other side of the road? Do we need to escape this pachydermal pest, even for a few minutes? But then again, it’s an elephant. In. da. house. It’s pretty darn hard to ignore. Especially when it casts its long shadow over every aspect of our lives, even over the mundane task of food procurement. And the elephant’s gotta eat, too. So there’s that.

I recently reached out to a close friend, asking Weren’t we supposed to be lying on a beach somewhere about now? Because a year ago, our families were planning a vacation together over spring break. Due to other logistical reasons the trip fell through but dang, no one expected to be holed-up at home over spring break. And in her case, holed-up away from her husband, a physician at our local hospital.

What a 180 everyone’s lives have taken in a few short weeks. And what an immersive change it has been. My family, like many others, has been watching lots of movies. And I marvel at how the Avengers can all sit together in the same room and spies can carry out hushed and hurried conversations within mere inches of one another. And the other day I nearly lost my sh-t when I pulled the LAST FEW clean forks out of the silverware drawer, the idea of scarcity seeping in to the renewable parts of life.

That said, the only constant is change. Never truer than at this moment. But there are those points in history where that constant takes a ginormous leap and changes the course of life in a really big way.

Right now, it’s hard to see past the present, given we need to focus on the now to get through to the other side. But let’s take a moment to pause and wonder, telling that elephant to sit in his corner and behave himself:

Will more employees call home their workplace?

Will more families chose remote learning for their children?

Will there be that speculated baby boom?

Sadly, could there be an uptick in divorces (China has seen this happen, purportedly because of the close-quarters of quarantine.)?

Could hairstyles change? We could see more women embracing their natural gray. As a hairstylist friend proclaimed on Facebook: “Feels like we’re 3 to 4 weeks away from learning everyone’s real hair color.” Gray, long, and straight, the “Earth Mama” could be the hot new trend. So hot even, that teenagers may want the look….well, maybe not.

We could all become bread-baking experts. It might already be happening. I can’t score a packet of yeast anywhere. But yesterday I was able to secure a 5 lb. bag of bread flour and it felt like my birthday (thank you, gluten gods!). This isn’t a complaint; the idea of getting back to something as down-homey as baking bread appeals to the hygge* we should be cultivating right now.

Could clothing styles also evolve? Will jammies become not just be the Walmart garb of choice but also that seen in fancy restaurants and churches the nation over? I’ve already suggested to a friend we meet up after all this is over and do so in our jammies. Because I’m really getting used to this.

And I’m really hoping my kids will learn some more life skills, particularly without complaining about it. Since they are home and spending less time on schoolwork, they can practice doing laundry and doing simple things like flushing the toilet.

But on a more serious note. Our kids. I hope they emerge from this more resilient. In a world of instant gratification kids are learning some tough lessons right now. With spring sports and music trips cancelled, and the regular routine of peer interaction snuffed out, this is new ground for our kids. There will be no senior prom. Traditional graduation ceremonies will at best be postponed. The idea of not getting to experience the rites of teen passage is a major blow to young people everywhere and it’s a disappointment that rivals few in our day and age.

In its own strange way, this loss has a silver lining. An exercise in disappointment breeds resilience, coping, and the discovery of alternative beginnings, endings, and everything in between.

Our children won’t understand this now, but they will down the road. And they will be ok. We need to keep the dialogue open, keep our minds open to new possibilities (virtual graduation? it would be a great story to tell later on…), and most of all, we need to stay close. Perhaps the term “social distancing” should be “physical distancing.” Stay in virtual contact, and improve upon it. Make a phone call. Do a Zoom coffee date. Write a letter.

Hug your kids. Even if they act repulsed.

We will get through this. For better or worse, we will.

*Hygge (roughly pronounced hoo-gaaa) refers to “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture).” Definition taken from Oxford, found on the Google dictionary.