Failure as a Blessing

I recently failed at something. And I failed BIG. As in, I lost not only valuable time and plenty of money but when I threw in the towel I lost some new friends as well. Talk about a learning experience. So you could say I have some regrets. But one thing I don’t regret is trying something new.

And I don’t regret attempting an endeavor that was totally out of my character. Over time I have used products sold by MLM-structured businesses and been very happy. But never, EVER, did I think I’d want to start up my own biz with an MLM. So I really surprised myself when I was charmed into trying it out. But after a year I found out that, sure enough, I’m not cut out for this kind of work.

And that’s ok. I could dwell on how much I lost in this failed venture, but I’d rather focus on what was gained:

1. Insight into who I am and who I’m not. I love to connect with people. But I hate feeling like I’m reaching out to others because I want something from them. As in, hey, you haven’t heard from me in decades but here I am wanting you to do this or that. Ick. Having an agenda other that simple reconnection just isn’t me.
2. A stronger sense of my authentic self. I can feel it. Others can feel it. If I’m not comfortable with what I’m putting out there, no one else is gonna be either. Trying on the persona of an MLM “hun” (terrible term, yes, but that perception is out there…) turned people off. Honestly, it turned me off, too. It just isn’t me. Stepping out of my comfort zone, my zone of authenticity, and into the world of MLM felt like that cute shirt that looks all wrong on me, even though it is made of soft cotton, the color is perfect and it seems everyone else rocks the style. Just not me.
3. The reminder to keep listening to my gut. Yes, my gut told me to take the leap into a business venture. But after I took the plunge my gut reminded me over and over of who I am: someone who doesn’t usually believe in “simple steps to success.” Or in making frequent phone calls (I was invariably relieved when I got the voicemail recordings…) Neither of these beliefs make me cowardly or weak, they make me a cynical introvert (thank you very much!). Finally, I listened to my sommersaulting gut and allowed myself to let this idea of being a successful MLM-er go.

I may have lost money, and precious time and connections, but I grew into myself exponentially from the entire experience. And because of that I could, with confidence, tell my kids:

I failed and I couldn’t be prouder of it.

Because I really want my kids to learn from my experience to take their own chances. Some calculated risks. Not the mind-altering-drug kind or car-surfing from the movie Footloose kind, but ones that take them on the adventures in self-discovery and self-affirmation. I want them to take risks that help them grow into who they wish to become. To jump into chances that strengthen their characters whether those decisions help them advance or even return them to square one. I don’t want them to fear failure. Failure can be an amazing experience. The best lessons can be learned when things don’t go as planned or hoped. Because it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.