It’s not Weakness, it’s Depression

I’m out of the loop on this one.  Is depression taboo?  Or is it “en vogue?”  I’ve heard it’s “trendy.”  (Really?)  My doctor’s opinion:  the social status of a depression diagnosis is generational…as in whether you’re Gen X or Gen Y.  I’ll take her word for it.  But here’s what I know:

If anyone I’m close to is depressed, it’s hidden pretty well.

And,

Depression is real.

Maybe it’s because my generation is  “X,” or maybe it’s just me, but feeling “blue” is confusing.  It’s a frustrating, unscalable boundary.  As in:  This can’t stop me, I’m too busy for this!  But there you are.  Depression is like an annoying younger sibling waving her hand in your face and she. won’t. stop.  You can’t ignore it.

Since depression is right there all the time, waving away (and there’s no time to mess with it), it’s better to focus on what it is not, instead of what it is.  It’s not cancer.  It’s not a heart attack.  It’s not a loved one who is ill.  That’s the silver lining, right?  But  here’s where things get confusing:   it’s also not a broken leg.

So why can’t I get out of bed???

I saw lots of people with depressive symptoms when I worked as a physician assistant.  All would fill out a questionnaire about how they were feeling, I’d sit and chat with them, and then I would have to decide whether or not to recommend medication.  And to do this, I’d need to answer one very important question and that was whether this person was experiencing situational depression (then I’d prescribe counseling) or a major depressive episode (meds with counseling).  We grieve when a loved one dies.  Job loss, divorce, family illness…all cause sadness and hopelessness.  It’s human to feel depressed at these times.  But it’s when the stress from major life changes becomes protracted that major depression can occur.

Webmd.com explains it well in an article, “The Stress-Depression Connection.”  Ongoing duress raises the blood level of the stress hormone cortisol and lowers the level of  “feel-good” hormones dopamine and serotonin, thus feelings of chronic depression.  So when a person struggles to cope with life, that very normal situational depression becomes something more.

And it sucks.

And it’s all too easy in the whirlwind of life to downplay those bad feelings.  Instead, we  “deal with it,” because we don’t have time to raise the white flag and admit we need help and also because, darn it, of course, that event is supposed to be hard and stressful.  We decide to let things run their course.  Only there is no finish line.  And months later,

We still can’t get out of bed.

I mean, we do, because we have to.  But the world seems fuzzy, out of focus.  Dull.  Colors are muted.  Like being covered in a gauzy shroud.  We can move but those movements are not as deliberate as we’d like.  Our limbs are heavy.  But we plod ahead.

This is not normal.  This requires help.  Explaining that it must be age, and that it must be related to early menopause because it seems worse “that time of the month” does not deter the doctor who has reviewed the mood questionnaire and says, “But you are talking about half your life!”

Ok, maybe there’s really something going on.

Depression is confusing because we let other stuff get in the way.  No matter what the trend is, no matter what’s on the to-do list, no matter what family or friends may think, we must look inside ourselves, at how we feel.  Last week I wrote about the importance of going with your gut.  

Do that.  Go with your gut.  Seek help.  Really.