The Happiness Project
Forget your troubles, come on get happy
You better chase all your cares away
Shout Hallelujah, come on get happy
~from the song Get Happy by Harold Arlen and Ted Koehler, performed by Judy Garland in Summer Stock (1950)
If you smile, you will feel happy. There are some pretty fun studies out there to help support this. Just try it yourself. Smile, and you start to feel exactly what the upturned corners of your mouth show.
But is feeling happy the same as being happy?
There is a mountain of literature out there about getting happy, much more than anyone could possibly devour. I’ll be honest, I’m not that interested in reading a lot of it…at least not right now: I have Hawaii by James Michener on my nightstand. But I’ve been wondering lately how much feeling and being relate to each other. Not just because it’s a new year and a fresh start (nope, no resolutions for me…if I say the word resolution I know I am doomed) but because I want to be the most truly authentic person I can possibly be.
Here’s the thing: I smile and boom, yes, I feel happy. But as soon as I stop I retreat inside my head (a place I inhabit most of the time) and believe you me, I am a hot mess of worry and stress. I don’t feel as I look. And it is not only exhausting but really tough on the psyche. I have loads of great stuff going on and it does make me happy but if it is not front and center, well, I have a hard time. It’s easy to voice the gratitudes. It’s easy to smile.
It’s not so easy to truly be happy. But it can be done.
There’s a friend of mine who also happens to be on Facebook. She’s much more than a “Facebook Friend” so I’m careful to chose my words. She (as a teenager) took care of my twin boys when they were infants and then had the courage to care for all three of my toddlers once my daughter came along. She has grown into more than our sitter; she has become a wonderful friend, someone I am proud to see grow into an amazing young woman. Beginning last year she started posting daily happiness on her Facebook page. Her goal was “100 happy days.” Well, it was going so well, she decided to make it a whole year’s worth of happy days. I’ve followed every one of these bits of happy and decided (not resolved) to do the same in 2016.
Here’s what I love about this “Happiness Project.” I’ve only been working on it for 19 days but I’ve realized several things. It makes me seek out the awesome in every day, grab it and become it, no matter how the rest of my day is going. It helps me focus on the moment, the real moment, and not the garbage in my head. It even helps me turn some of that garbage into gold. And even better, it helps me make some happiness, too. Like the other day. I needed to start dinner, take a shower, then get the kids moving toward the dinner table as my boys had a cub scout outing that night. I could have been nose to the grindstone, worried about burning dinner, smelling bad myself and getting my boys out the door in time. And I could have easily said “no” when my daughter asked me to come color with her.
But I didn’t. I said “yes.”
We sat and colored several pages and talked. I didn’t just feel happy being with this beautiful little girl…I was happy.
And dinner was still on time, the turbo shower happened and the boys still got to their meeting.
And mom got her some happy. The smiles were more than a feeling, they were part of my being. I hope that long before that 366th day arrives, and the final happy post “posted” I have made it second nature to simply acknowledge the mind garbage and then circular-file it, putting in its place many, many happy moments.
Because life is way to short to not get happy.
One of my daughter’s and my “Happy (not master)pieces.”
