Life Lessons, By Temple Grandin
Recently our local college had the privilege of hosting a lecture by noted author and scientist Temple Grandin and we were fortunate enough to be in attendance. This remarkable woman, diagnosed with autism as a child, has overcome the obstacles of her diagnosis to earn a degree in psychology and a PhD in animal science and pen several books. To hear her speak (which she didn’t learn to do until the age of four), is to experience how nurturing and support and sheer will can help a person overcome odds and accomplish amazing things.
Temple Grandin speaks quickly and one needs to be pretty attentive to keep up. She also covers a lot of ground in a short amount of time, offering up insights regarding autism, describing her work, and tossing in a blunt opinion here and there (like “why are we funding sports and at the same time cutting band!?”). About a third of the way into her talk, it occurred to me that while she was offering her path to success as one that could help others with the same diagnosis, her lessons can apply to us all. And also extrapolate to how we as parents can raise successful children. A few of Temple Grandin’s points:
- Don’t focus on weaknesses, focus on strengths. Her personal example was math. Being a visual learner and thinker, Grandin stated she struggled with algebra but excelled in geometry. Don’t take the frustrating subject, take something else was her recommendation. While this is not always possible, her words are still encouraging: it’s ok to not be good at something; don’t dwell on it. Find what you’re good at and dive in. One of my sons doesn’t ride a bike; it’s not his thing. But he can build an extremely detailed city out of legos. He thrives on being a boy who builds; not on being a man in motion.
- We each learn best in different ways and from how we learn come our strengths. Grandin spoke on this point from the perspective of autism but her thoughts can apply to anyone. She described the visual thinker, the math and music-based thinker, and the verbal-logic thinker (this is someone who loves lists and stats, for example). A person can fit firmly into one category or span more than one. I think about my twins: one is clearly a visual kid who loves art and creating in three dimensions and his brother loves music and maps. Characteristics their former school, based in multiple intelligence theory, picked up on and used. And my boys thrived in that setting in their own individual ways.
- Try new things, and keep trying new things. Grandin’s mother helped her get jobs working with a seamstress, in a horse barn and in retail establishments. Her experiences were rich and varied and hands-on. Skills were learned, social interactions were had (not easy for Grandin) and from this she found her niche working with animals. Which not only became a job. It became her life. What if we did as Grandin’s mother did? Instead of focusing on a resume full of all the “right” activities, what if we as parents simply encouraged our kids to try something new and then helped them pursue their interests…legos, music, computers, etc.? We’d be encouraging our kids to not just “get a job,” but find a passion and make that passion their life’s work. However, Grandin also said:
- Get a job! I couldn’t help but smile each time she emphasized this point. I kept imagining her the gruff parent addressing her teenager in response to every complaint of boredom and request for cash. Grandin didn’t iterate all the “whys” in her statement but clearly she feels from her own personal experience that the value of becoming a productive member of society involves being involved in society. I see Sonic is hiring…! she said. For someone with autism, the benefits of employment can be huge (social interaction, responsiblilty, following a process), but they can do the same for other kids as well. A job is character building. It is an exercise in time- and money-management. It’s a life exercise.
We walked out of the gymnasium that night impressed with Temple Grandin and all she has accomplished. And the courage and effort it must take her to engage in question-and-answer-sessions when social awkwardness follows her everywhere. (She states proudly yet matter-of-factly she is getting better at accepting hugs.) The odds were against her, given she was born at a time (1947) where no one had thought of or even uttered “on the spectrum.” But given the persistence and support of family and teachers, this amazing individual has become an icon and beacon of hope in the autism community. She is literal but her message runs deep:
You’re not going to be good at everything…
So find something you ARE good at and do it.
Try something completely new, out of your comfort zone.
Get to work!
At least that’s what I took away from her talk. And I hope I can pass this philosophy on to my kids, and take it to heart myself.
