Archive - 2014

My kids love to make up jokes.  Here’s the latest: Which state has the smallest sodas? Minnesota!!!! In fact, they have inspired me to try my hand at penning riddles.  So I have one for you: How do you feed a vegetarian from Iowa? You can’t. Vegetarians don’t exist in Iowa. Admittedly not a zinger.  But I am from Iowa.  And if there is ever a meat-loving place on earth, it is the Corn State.  (I know.  That nickname doesn’t make much sense.  It should be the Ribeye State or the One-Inch-Thick-Pork-Chop-the-Size-of-Your-Head State.)  And years back when Paul McCartney performed…

Today, and for today only (ok, that’s a lie but it sounds good), I am passing the Pot-Shot Bull’s Eye over to my dear husband.  I don’t think he’ll mind as he has been forewarned and didn’t tell me to leave him alone.  I share many of my own snafus and fallacies with PulseonParenting and the time has come for my husband to do the same. Although I am doing it for him.

I’m not sure what “drops” after the “other shoe,” but let’s just say this:  whatever it is did so in a big way the other morning. I could see it coming and managed to stick to my guns and let it happen.  I had only one primal scream (in private, I might add) as a result.  Which is good, isn’t it?  And I think lessons were learned by all. Ownership is a tough skill to master, and it’s not only a challenge for kids…we adults struggle as well.  As parents, we work daily to take and keep charge of our…

It’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops.  Due to acclimation, burnout, or poor motivation, the honeymoon has to end sometime.  In this case, “sometime” is seven days. But no way, no annulment here.  I don’t give up easy.  Never have and never will.  Ownership is way too important a life skill to just toss out like yesterday’s news.  My kids and I are going to see this one through. And be all the stronger for it. Isn’t it true?  We get the Perfect Plan off on the right foot, feel good about the initial success, and…

The other day after lunch in town, my first-grade daughter found a vertical pole to spin around.  In her innocent fun, she really got into it.  I mean, really got into it and…yeah.  It was disturbing.  Anyway…I’m going to continue on in a totally different vein.   But her little, uh, performance, will tie in.  I promise. What is more frustrating, time-consuming and stressful than potty-training the kids?  Getting them ready for school and out-the-door (hereby known as “OTD”) is a top contender in my book.  I think I’ve sprouted more gray hairs with the latter than the former.  It is a…

When I feel my blood pressure rising, my blood on a rolling boil and my head a-poundin’, I try (try!) to ask myself this question before I erupt:  Are my kids just getting to me or are they actually doing something hurtful/dangerous/rude…?  (aka my might-try-to-patent-if-I-weren’t-bureaucratically-challenged  “Mommy Barometer”) In other words, is it ME?  If so, I take my pulse.  And retreat to the other room (or, admittedly, to my smartphone to cruise Facebook) for a little break.  If it is misbehavior, I still take my pulse….on parenting.  And then attempt a calm, reasonable approach to the hurtful/dangerous/rude issue.  Am I…

“How you do anything is how you do everything.” I was wowed by this quote from Editor Kristin Van Ogtrop’s note in the January 2014 Real Simple.  I also felt: Introspective. Intimidated. And oh, let’s not forget:  Inadequate. How daunting those few words are!  My self-reflection on how well (or not) I behave, react and perform in the moment led me to the scary possibility that everything I do is crap and my kids see it.  If last night’s supper was a performance barometer, my kids will be able to pen quite the “tell-all” if they become famous. But in all…

“What would be your asking price to do all the “Mommy” work?” Come again?  It could have been an insulting inquiry, but it wasn’t, actually.   A frustrated family friend, who had had-it-up-to-there with the grind of paying bills, calling utility companies, and trouble-shooting random homeowner responsibilities while balancing his career and fatherhood, had simply had enough.  At least I worked from the home, and flexibly at that.  What WOULD I ask in yearly salary to do all the unavoidable junk that takes away from family, career and FUN? If I’d been prepared to answer his question (a job offer, possibly??), I…

Remember “Not Me” from the Family Circus cartoons?  We all know how alive and well this little ghost is in any home with kids: “Who spilled milk and didn’t clean it up?!” “Not me!” “Not me!” “Well, it wasn’t ME”! No matter the offense, this trio of responses in my house rarely changes.  (The only caveat is that they blame the dog, even though she is lactose-intolerant, doesn’t have opposable thumbs, etc.). And my rebuttal doesn’t change, either: I’m not going to be angry if you tell me the truth.  It’s dishonesty that upsets me. When no one owns up…

When my family moved to Colorado a year ago, we were frequently asked:  “Do you ski?”  Being new in town I could hardly state my feelings on the subject so instead gave the hard, cold facts:  “My kids and I are taking lessons.”  My husband learned as a teenager and has several of the premiere ski resorts in Colorado under his belt so he already fit into the fold of our ski-adoring community.  But the kids and I didn’t even know what “binders” were.  Needless to say, we had a long way to go.