Consistency Out The Window

We ask our kids to use “inside voices” then we holler at them to clean their rooms or get ready for school.

We instruct our kids to not write on the walls and then find pen marks in our child’s bedroom marking how tall their stuffed animals are.  So endearing is that discovery, we let it go.

We warn our kids about not talking to strangers but we ourselves greet new faces on the street with a friendly “hello.”

We remind our kids to stay seated while eating but we are up and down several times during a meal (to get more milk, get a towel to clean up spills, etc.).

We tell our kids not to use four letter words and then let a “sh–!” (or several in rapid succession) fly right in front of them.

We educate our kids about the risks of eating raw cookie dough and then they catch Daddy snitching from the mixing bowl.

We give our kids The Look when they belch obnoxiously or fart with their armpits and at other times join the fun.

We remind our kids to close the door to the house and then leave it wide open making trips to bring the groceries in from the car.

We instruct our children not to play with their food or toys at mealtime and then spend the time ourselves messing with our smartphones.

We decline our kids a second dessert, then after they go to bed, eat an entire row of brownies.

We mandate educational television programs then, along with eating the brownies, pop in a Will Ferrell movie.

We have all heard that being consistent is paramount to the parenting process.   Ok, good.  Because  I am proud to say I am very consistent…at being inconsistent.

My son measured “Blue,” “Dew” and “Ostrich” against his bedroom wall.