I’m Flying With Kids, Guess What’s in My Quart Ziploc Bag?

Over the holidays, we flew the friendly skies back to Iowa to visit family.  Packing for a family of five is a real trip (pun intended!) and in the middle of this project, my husband and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Hubby:  How large a bottle of liquid can we take in our carry-on?

Me:  Um, I think 3 ounces.  Why?

Hubby:  Well, these mini bar liquors say 50 ml.  How many ounces is that?

Me (doing some quick head-math):  Let’s see…about 1.6 ounces.  And you can have only one one-quart plastic bag for yourself.  (thoughtful pause) How many of those bottles fit in a ziploc?

Hubby (delighted I seem to be on board with his plan):  I’ll check…And the kids can each have a bag, right?

Me (cautiously):  Yeeesss.  But I’m guessing 8-year-olds with bags of booze aren’t allowed, either.  Anyway, I don’t think you can take your own alcohol on an airplane.

Hubby:  Why not?  We’re traveling with three kids!

Just to be sure, that exchange was in jest!  But it still reveals how stressful travel of any kind can be with kids.  Put little ones in the confines of a jet and you have just added to your troubles.  As if the security line isn’t hard enough.

My husband and I love to travel and wanderlust wasn’t something we were ready to give up once we had a family.  So we decided to introduce our offspring to air travel as soon as possible.  The boys were six months when they earned their flight wings and our daughter, four months.  They have grown into relatively easy travelers and become pros at the rigamarole of x-ray machines and body scanners.  And no wonder:  our infant sons endured the pat-down process after a cancelled flight resulted in one-way tickets (aka a security “red flag”) home.  And all three kids have had to tolerate the monkey motions of shoe removal until that rule changed.  I’ll never forget my older son’s response the first time he had to take his shoes off for security purposes.  He gave me this incredulous look and asked, “Why do we have to do THAT?!  I could have explained the rationale behind the rule but why terrify him?  So I simply said, “Honey,  I really don’t know.”  Which was still the honest truth; the rule seems over the top to me.

So in short, we have flown a fair amount with our kids.  And we learn something from every adventure about how to make the next trip smooth sailing, er, smooth flying.  Chewing gum is great.  As long as it is readily available in the carryon luggage and not left lying on the kitchen counter. Inevitably, the cabin pressure is erratic if the gum is MIA.  We’ve been burned by that more than once.  LIttle surprises stashed in the kids’ backpacks seems an obviously fun necessity.  But this plan takes a nose dive with my kids.  Too excited about “going somewhere” to care about treasures in their carryon luggage?  I’m beginning to think so.  The tray tables, credit card-activated phones and window shades are way cooler than coloring books?  Definitely.  But the mother ship of all airline distractions?  The broom closet the flight attendants call the lavatory.  My younger son is obsessed and HAS to check out the “lav” the second we board.  After he JUST PEED in the terminal bathroom.  And he lets the door swing wide open while he does what-he-needs-to-do.  I guess the bathroom door latch isn’t as fascinating as the hurricane force that ensues when flushing the toilet.

So we’ve learned to: 1) bring the gum, and 2) ditch the toys from the dollar bin.  So now what?  We hope to travel farther than Iowa in a few months and need to prepare a game plan.  Of course there will be books and games (ones, this time, the kids will choose to pack!) but I think the inevitable will occur:  in-flight programming alternating with iPod action.  A necessary evil but with few other entertainment options we realistically will have to give in.  And flights of a certain scale come with regular food and beverage service to break things up.  And will sweet slumber occur?  We can only hope!  At least we know some of what works and what does not before we again take flight.

But one thing is certain.  My quart-sized plastic bag will not hold Cuervo or Bailey’s.  It will be filled with chewing gum.