Supressing the Urge to Not “Martha Stewart” All Over My Kids
I’m certainly not Martha Stewart. It’s been said that even Martha Stewart is not really Martha Stewart. Anyway, as the holidays roll around I think often about an episode of the now-archived “Oprah” I recall watching several years ago. Martha Stewart was a guest, as was a girl about the age of six and if I remember correctly, this youngster was Oprah’s godchild. There was a segment of the show devoted to her making a craft, cookie or other “child-friendly” project with Ms. Martha.
Who this child was, and what the craft/cookie event taking place entailed doesn’t really matter. What I clearly recall, however, was how the home guru pounced on the little girl when she didn’t complete the steps in the way she felt they should. Martha was clearly concerned that the project was going to be botched. She took over where the little girl left off and that was that.
It made my heart sick to see this situation unfold. Now, I could speculate as to how this little girl felt about having her work hijacked, but I won’t because I don’t know. I only know what I saw on tv that day. And after all these years that segment on “Oprah” has stuck with me and functions as an important reminder. Because, you see, I am a control freak. I fully admit it. It is one of my worst flaws as a parent, thinking I can “herd cats” and forgetting until it is too late that I am on a fool’s errand. To snap me back to reality I think of Martha Stewart-on-Oprah to help me get real. That, and, the wisdom that speaks to me from my new kitchen towel. Yes, you read that correctly. Here me out:
I bake cookies with my kids. They are fascinated with cracking eggs. Ykes!, I think when they beg to do that part of the batter-making. I envision egg shell, egg white and egg yolk smashed, smeared and pulverized all over the counter, floor and precious little faces, a slimy, stretchy, crunchy goo oozing under the kitchen appliances and making Happy Bonding Time into Major Clean Up Time. And Worry Time [Please refer to my post on October 23, 2013, “Errant Body Fluids and Other (Viral) Situations” and you’ll get why…]. Then I remember Martha and her swoop-in maneuver on tv. I take a breath, hand my daughter an egg, step back and let her crack it. It takes tons of effort to not put my own hand into the foray but I manage to suppress that urge. My daughter needs to learn and I need to support her with reassurance and words of instruction, not physical intrusion. Of course, there is egg everywhere. Really, it’s kinda funny to watch…squished egg all over the place, oozing out between my little girl’s fingers. I giggle. She giggles. No harm done. It’s just egg. But my safety-reflex is still intact…I hand her a towel to wipe her hands on and offer a gentle reminder to never put egg-y fingers in her mouth.
Kids are messy. Kids are creative. They are not little adults. Dare I speculate that dear Martha, based on the above, doesn’t fully understand any of that? I know I often forget and I am surrounded by three children under age ten! I may want the exquisitely-painted glass Christmas orbs (made by the kids!) to gift to Grandma and Grandpa, and Bon Appetit-caliber decorated cookies for the neighborhood holiday open house but LET THE KIDS BE THEIR CREATIVE SELVES ALREADY!!!
So when it is time to decorate the tree, let the orbs, wooden trains and snowmen hang in together with empty clusters of branches showing. Let them pile stuffed reindeer on the antique desk Great Grandpa made. And, absolutely, let them decorate the holiday treats with Disney princess sprinkles.
Whew. I did it. I may be sweating just a bit. But I did it. I didn’t “Martha” on my kids. But sometimes she is not enough. I bought a tea towel that says:
PARDON THE MESS
MY CHILDREN ARE
MAKING MEMORIES
I have draped it on the mantel in the living room. So instead of doing the Martha Swoop when my kids have pulled every bit of recycling from the bin to make a homemade Christmas tree, I smile, turn out of the room, and think, “yes, they are!”
The Disney version of our favorite Almond Crackers we make every Christmas.
